Puberty is arguably one of the most difficult phases a child has to go through. School refusal, depression, school anxiety, social phobias, other anxieties, eating disorders, sleep problems, compulsions, or even tics during puberty demonstrate how sensitive this phase of life can be. The feeling of being neither fish nor fowl, the powerlessness over physical and psychological states, the challenge of self-discovery and separation, or simply finding one's place in society—all of this can be experienced as very irritating, unsettling, hurtful, or even traumatic. During this developmental phase, adolescents need authentic, reliable, and honest adults as role models (see: parental counseling, supporting with authenticity). Furthermore, they need social support, whether it's to develop further social skills, get better grades, learn more easily, manage conflicts with peers, participate in competitions, or overcome obstacles. The primary goal of the counseling is to offer young people developmental support to enable/facilitate their socialization. Young people are taught coping strategies to empower them to act independently. These include strategies for managing stress, problems, and conflicts, as well as exercises for self-awareness and self-efficacy. Specific exercises simultaneously strengthen the teenagers' self-confidence and self-esteem.
Resilience can be trained.
also with your child
Strengthening self-confidence in children - gaining self-esteem
radiate from within
Both factors develop as your child is guided through a challenge step by step. Repeated avoidance further diminishes their already low self-esteem and increases resistance. Parents need to learn to distinguish between their child's learned, unhealthy behaviors and their genuine needs.
Be confident, react empathetically, and resolve conflicts constructively.
Overcoming childhood fears - breaking down resistance
From trembling to confidence - on many levels
Fears are only overcome through success and inner reprogramming. First, a distinction must be made between genuine and learned fear. Once again, a large step is broken down into several smaller ones so that your child can achieve success with a little effort. Furthermore, limiting beliefs are changed and a positive mental orientation is implemented.
Practice makes perfect – start small, achieve great things.
Making connections – improving social skills in children
Friendships & setting boundaries made easy
Negative experiences, inadequate self-regulation, limiting beliefs, negative role models, or a lack of coping strategies can keep your child in a downward spiral. Through positive rituals, role-playing, fulfilling needs, and boosting self-esteem, I guide your child toward social success.
Be brave enough to be visible, listen empathetically, laugh together.
Learning from apparent failures - embracing change
Grow from setbacks - embrace change
Together with your child, I analyze what went wrong and find creative solutions. Through playful exercises, we strengthen self-efficacy and confidence. Empathy and a structured approach remain central: listening, reinforcing values, setting concrete goals, and making successes visible. In this way, failures become learning opportunities, and changes become new chances.
Science agrees – almost anything can be trained, including children's resilience. For children to develop strong resilience, they need good role models, emotional bonds, recognition, the transmission of social values, and suitable developmental space to cultivate their strengths and skills.
In resilience training, I analyze your child's personality structure, explore possible behavioral problems, discuss the underlying needs, strengthen your child's resilience, and uncover corresponding resources.
Since children generally have fewer hindering (self-)protective mechanisms or inner blockages, their problems can usually be resolved in a few sessions.
Personality structure
It fundamentally determines how people think, feel, and act when stress or crises occur. Key reasons:
- Temperament: Irritability, activity level, and reaction to stimuli influence how strongly stress is perceived.
- Self-efficacy: Belief in one's own ability to overcome challenges promotes proactive action instead of resignation.
- Emotion regulation: The ability to recognize, name, and flexibly control feelings reduces stress reactions.
- Thought patterns and stress tolerance: Optimism combined with a realistic assessment increases resilience.
- Problem-solving skills: A structured approach helps to effectively manage crises.
- Impulse control: Patience and delayed reaction prevent wrong decisions under pressure.
- Attachment experiences: Secure relationships provide support, security, and resources for coping with stress.
- Coping strategies: Diverse, adaptive coping mechanisms stabilize behavior in stressful situations.
- In short: A robust personality structure provides the building blocks for proactive action, emotional stability, intelligent problem-solving, and social support.
Gene
Genes influence resilience because they lay the foundation for brain function, stress responses, and emotions. Key points:
- Stress axis and neurotransmitters: Genes regulate systems such as the HPA axis and neurotransmitters (e.g., dopamine, serotonin) that influence responses to stress, mood, and reward.
- Neuroplasticity: Genetic differences can influence the brain's ability to adapt to experiences, learn new things, and process traumatic stress.
- Emotion regulation: Genetics influences tendencies in emotion processing, which facilitates or hinders resilience to stress and flexible self-regulation.
- Anxiety and stress sensitivity: Predispositions to irritability or calmness affect how strongly stress is perceived and how quickly resilience mechanisms are activated.
- Sleep and recovery: Genes influence sleep patterns and recovery capacity, which are key factors for resilience.
- Attachment and social behavior: Genetic factors play a role in how people form attachments and use social support networks.
- In short: genes define limits and tendencies within which environment, experiences, and learning processes shape individual resilience.
Parenting styles
Parenting styles significantly influence resilience because they provide patterns for how children cope with stress, challenges, and emotions. Key points:
- Continuity and security: Warm, consistent parenting creates reliable structures in which children can safely explore risks.
- Emotion regulation: Supportive styles teach how to name, accept, and appropriately regulate feelings.
- Expectations and self-efficacy: Positive, realistic expectations promote confidence in one's own abilities and problem-solving skills.
- Problem-solving interaction: Open communication, age-appropriate tasks and feedback promote cognitive and social coping strategies.
- Modeling: Parents demonstrate adaptive strategies (e.g., calm responses, constructive problem-solving) instead of impulsive reactions.
- Boundaries and sensitivity: Appropriate discipline without humiliation supports self-control and resilience to stress.
- Resource mobilization: Parenting styles influence whether children use external help (school, friends, etc.) and how they accept support.
- Attachment and trust: Stable, supportive parenting relationships strengthen security, which serves as a resource in times of stress.
- In short, parenting styles shape how children experience and cope with stress and recover from setbacks by promoting security, emotional competence, problem-solving skills, and self-efficacy.
0 to 3 years
- Self-perception
- Frequent screaming/crying
- demarcation from the environment
- Sleep problems
- Pursuit of autonomy
- Feeding problems
- First development of self-confidence
- Oppositional behavior
- Self-confidence
- Early language skills
3 to 6 years
- Establishing relationships with peers
- Developmental delays (language/motor skills)
- Cleanliness development
- Fear of darkness and separation anxiety
- Improvement of motor and language skills
- Problems with toilet training
- Formation of a fixed identity
- Integration difficulties (kindergarten)
6 to 12 years
- Concentration problems, attention problems
- Performance
- Hyperkinetic disorders
- Problem-solving skills
- Dyslexia
- Differentiated self-awareness
- Fears about school
- Integration difficulties into the class group
- Eating disorders
- Day/bedwetting, soiling, or bowel movements
- Tics, compulsions
- Stutter
- Depressive moods
- Behavioral disorders
12 to 18 years
- Ability for self-reflection
- Learning difficulties
- Building a stable self-image
- School refusal
- Acquisition of gender roles
- Refusal to perform
- Establishing relationships with peers
- Sleep disorders
- Separation from parents/caregivers
- Depressive disorders
- Building one's own value system
- Anxieties, compulsions
- Finding your own lifestyle
- Eating disorders
- Career choice
- Addictive behavior
- Social withdrawal behavior
- Disorders of social behavior (antisocial, delinquent or criminal behavior)